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Dear April

By R. Aaron Flores

My first month w us

not rlly fw one another

In the same way at least

different now for me bc i

was the one who

broke down/went away

It's happened before

w you and w others

when i've tried to distance

in the broadest sense

give a little less acreage

of the old mind fields

to shit you do and

ways you are that literally

drive me crazy

all good tho

It's become a funny time when I know it's best

To bond w bros who don't make my dick move

I cry for Eric as he's trucking thru

those Utah ass orange mountains

He’ll probably see a lot of flowers

On his way back to texas

good quick tears bc it's turning too hot to bawl

but it warmed me in my new pink heart

That that boy's life is about to change

For good bc he seemed to have good faith

It's just little shit that changes w me

like knowing i shoudn't just write you

Let the max or whatever demon computer

in my hand stay bone dry while i sink in

I guess enough dudes know

I’m not tryna fuck rn

Or just would't be fucking

w me rn anyway

wait maybe i did do something

I know i get pretty manic

I’m being weird about my prep

Bc I know I don’t really need it rn

Like do I really need to stay ready like that

when i'm like serious about not blooming

to attract rn and it's my own good choice

from the best thinking of my soul mates

Plus the white pill is hard to get used to

The blue pill just looked cooler and stronger

Maybe this way the third marriage will be

Better and maybe i'll be a Bigger Man

Like Antonio might say that shit is for the birds

And maybe I'm so lost bc i'm rlly for the bees

Horny for all the pollination of the szn

But not rlly putting out a flower this szn myself

seems best to just do me right?

and just send love instead of juice for rn

I know i'm still setting some seeds and my dick

Feels fine as an abstraction for right now


R. Aaron Flores is a writer of poetry, essays, and fiction and a communications professional based in both Houston, Texas and Brooklyn, New York.

Aaron's writing typically centers around the queer Brown experience in various forms and often integrates his extensive time in nature. His professional communications engagements are all social impact-focused with an emphasis in agriculture, policy and political representation, health access, and urban land.

For his work in local policy, he has been appointed to several advisory committees for the City of Houston. As a volunteer and advocate, Aaron gave the TEDx talk, “Building Authentic Community by Seeing Your Neighbors” on localism and the built environment, he was featured on the University of Chicago Public Policy Podcast for his work after Hurricane Harvey, and he was a founding member of the Houston Women’s March.

Aaron, who answers to several other names (aflo, raf, renay, and more) depending on your preference in the absence of his own, plays outside a lot, often trail running, paddling, hiking, swimming, and more. As a writer and thinker, he is ultimately interested in reconciling the primal aspects of our human nature with our relatively recent existence as urban, public animals. You can follow him on Instagram or on his homepage.


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